SV coming back to her illegally parked car after about 40 minutes to find the traffic police have ticketed her.
Fiddlesticks! (and worse).
One officer sees her stomping up to the car and walks over.
SV starts to quake in her dog-walking trainers (yes, she does like to be uber-smart when going into town).
PC Ploddio: Which one of these is your car?
SV (debating whether to deny all knowledge of any automobile and just keep walking): This one.
At which point PC Ploddio reaches out, grabs the ticket from under the wipers, and silently rips it up before sauntering off.
Now I have never been one for uniforms; but for a brief moment, ravishing him over the bonnet of my illegally parked car seemed like a perfectly desirable thing to do.
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19/01/2012 at 14:17 |
Sounds like the perfect opening scene of your M and B best seller ….. as long as he doesn’t have a fringe ….
19/01/2012 at 15:10 |
He didn’t have a fringe, but I think his moped would be similarly detrimental to female libidos…
19/01/2012 at 19:27 |
Oh I know how you feel – but they don’t do that over here in Wales. Just before Christmas I had to pick up daughter and partner at 2 in the morning from boozy night out in town. Now I am known for not putting my wellie down and suffer much abuse from better half because of this. Yesterday, I had a traffic fine for exceeding the speed limit on a dual carriageway, no other traffic about, at 35 m.p.h. Now I feel that a uniform would only have warned this little old lady – but bloody speed cameras just flash and fine and three points on my license.
One daughter and her partner have been caught three times by speed cameras – to which I have said “Simple, don’t speed. I don’t”. Hubby keeps calling me Speedy, and from now on I will not make such smug remarks, ever. Honest.
BUT I do feel like doing something to the camera over the bonnet of my little Panda, only not what you had in mind.
19/01/2012 at 20:56 |
I totally sympathise. I am always being “got” by the speed cameras over the border in France, although that doesn’t seem to have happened since I’ve had a car with Italian plates. When I was in the UK in my French plated car, I had the luxury of ripping up all my parking fines, knowing I would never be tracked down. I even got flashed a few times, but nothing came of that either. My advice: wherever you are, make sure you are driving a car with foreign number plates, it’s your best chance of survival!
20/01/2012 at 07:40 |
Another SV conquest! What a lovely thing to have happen. I, for one, have always had a thing for uniforms, though not, perhaps, the traffic police uniform. Those hats! So white! I parked my scooter illegally a year or so ago, and it tipped over on a little old lady and knocked her into a wall. And she was on crutches to begin with. Oh misery. But nothing came of it, oddly enough (it seems she may have bumped it over herself). She was not well pleased, though, and when I said mi dispiace, she replied, dispiace CAVOLI.
20/01/2012 at 11:27 |
Hahahahahahahahahaha! Love it! Little Old Italian Ladies are generally as tough as old boots, and more than capable of withstanding a little scooter crushing I’m sure…
01/02/2012 at 17:23 |
And that, in a nutshell, is why Italy’s broke. Those in power would rather flirt with the laydeez than collect what’s owed…
01/02/2012 at 18:52 |
God yes! Add that to the hundreds of other piddling little infractions, and you soon have a national debt the size of Kim Kardashian’s arse.